So there’s been a little series going around the blogosphere, and you may have seen it. It all started because of this post written by Jess Constable. Ez, of Creature Comforts created this little project to inspire authenticity and real life in blogging. It’s often hard to decipher real life between status updates, tweets, inspiring blog posts, and Instagram photos. I’m far from perfect, and after reading everyone’s posts (links here), I felt compelled to write my own. Turns out it feels really good!
Here goes.
1. I put pressure on myself to be everything, to do it all, and I feel like a failure if I’m not doing “it all”. And then I turn to comparison; I start looking at others’ lives and work, thinking, “Why can’t I do that? What am I even doing? What if I never do anything worthwhile in my life?” And I get anxious… Eventually I snap out of it and realize those are ridiculous thoughts and of course I can’t do and be everything. It’s normal for someone creative to have many interests. I just have to take the journey one step at a time, no matter how it may turn out. (My mind is crazy, I tell you.:)
2. I’m one of those people that is chronically late. I hate that about myself and I am desperately trying to change right now. I have memories of being late starting in middle school. I don’t know why it’s not something I can just “fix” about myself. I also don’t know why I do it because I usually toil over something coming up on my schedule for hours prior to it. (ie. I’ll think about that afternoon appointment all morning in the back of my mind). I think my problem is just that I’m trying to fit a million different things in before that time comes. (Again, this pressure on myself to do it all, to get it all done.) But I know I can be on time, I know I can change. And I don’t have to get it all done. (Wish me luck!)
3. I’m very ambitious and I’m also at a vulnerable, transitional place in my career. It’s now been a couple years since I graduated college and the past couple years have been sometimes wonderful and sometimes difficult to adjust. I recently left my 8-5 cubicle job to work as an educator at a new store opening of lululemon athletica. I’m now at the point where if I’m serious about my goal of becoming self-employed I need to start making it happen. It’s just all about self-motivation. And managing fear.
4. I am a night owl, not a morning person. I’m one of those people that could sleep in every day until ten or eleven o’clock (and, admittedly, sometimes does.) I’m kind of embarrassed about that because it makes me feel lazy, but sometimes it just feels good. I often think that I should develop a more “normal schedule” (closer to someone with an 8-5), but sometimes I wonder if it’s ok and I just need to work to when I want to and when I feel creative.
6. I’ve had acne on and off since my teens. It’s a constant struggle and I’m super self-conscious about it. I might be sharing more about this as it’s one of the main reasons I started my cleanse. I’m worried that it will never go away.
5. Sometimes I have no desire to sit on my computer and blog. I just don’t want to look at others’ work and blogs and get distracted or feel inadequate. Plus my shoulders get super tight and my hands are often freezing when I’m my computer. (I now wear fingerless gloves and Nick calls me “wet bandit” …it’s a weird reference from Home Alone. Yep, weird.) I know that working on the computer for long periods of time is terrible for my body and my posture. Yet at the same time I really enjoy it, especially the connections I’ve made and the things I discover. My goal is to become a full-time creative freelancer and blogger, requiring significant time on the computer. It’s a weird balance. Frequent breaks and yoga help, but I’m still constantly figuring it out.
7. I often forget to relax and have fun. Yes, forget. Like I always feel like I should be working or “getting something done” to the point where I’ll turn down social events and stay home to work.
8. I’m an introvert, and while I often feel best in those moments when I’m extroverted, confident and outgoing, I also relish in my alone time spent at home. I worry about remaining quiet and shy and stuck in my own head. I also over-think EVERYTHING.
9. I’m a little afraid of the future and growing old. Of what I’ll aspire to be, what will happen. What Nick and I will feel, what we’ll face, or where we’ll end up. What we’ll create for ourselves, and what we’ll leave behind.
10. I’ve never thought of myself as a writer, but it’s an area I want to develop. I’ve recently been trying to write more on my blog and get more personal. And I’m really enjoying it. I’m also kind of scared about that and how it will be accepted, but I’m trying anyway.
Well there it is. It was pretty scary to hit publish for this one. Thanks for reading, friends. There’s more where that came from, but maybe for another brave day. I hope to share more of these thoughts and feelings in a new series about my ambitions, creative journey, and career. I should also add to the list that this week I realized I’ve been thinking I’m a year younger than I actually am. Ha! Oh boy.
xoxo
P.S. If you want to read more of these posts, Ez included links to other awesome, authentic bloggers that participated. :)
(image via Creature Comforts)
Saturday, May 5th, 2012, 12:09 pm | 
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May 5, 2012 at 12:15 pm
Good for you for sharing, doesn’t it feel good after having the courage to hit publish?! I relate on many of your points, especially the over-thinking of things and comparison. Comparison can be so evil…we are all beautiful and wonderful in our own ways! It is just hard to constantly remember that. ;)
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May 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm
this was sweet, kudos for sharing.
it’s comforting to know that so many bloggers really feel the same insecurities and doubts about it.
happy sat!
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May 5, 2012 at 2:20 pm
all of these points spoke to me – but esp. #6 – i actually bought kimberly snyder’s book after i read your post about the green smoothie, for this exact reason. i started following your blog after you did the paper antler dream job series – and i think it has really grown with the addition of granola files, and your more personal posts about your job switch etc. yours is one of the most inspiring and accessible (meaning i can relate) blogs i read. also a lot of the style blogs i follow don’t leave me feeling inspired, but rather the opposite, inadequate – because of what you said, comparison – for these reasons i’m a little unsure about the future of my own blog – but that’s another story;) anyways, to sum up marathon comment (geesh) your authenticity and courage are very inspiring and i hope you continue to make many bold and heart-following moves in the future!
-Gillian
http://www.oystervintage.com
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May 5, 2012 at 5:04 pm
being a young woman isn’t always the easiest…lots of worry and striving. we’ll all get it figured out eventually. ;)
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May 5, 2012 at 6:01 pm
so glad you shared with us, my friend. We’re all more alike that we think, eh?
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May 5, 2012 at 7:40 pm
gosh, this whole movement is so inspiring. thank you for being brave enough to share!! i can relate on so many points…wondering if i’ll aspire to what i feel i’m capable of in the future, teen acne that still haunts me today and more. i’m grateful more bloggers are being honest…it’s giving me motivation to be more personal on my blog, so THANK YOU!
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May 5, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Try Dermalogica! Changed my life!
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May 5, 2012 at 11:22 pm
I have to say it’s really exciting to see a blogger talk about skin problems. I’ve been struggling with acne for years. It only went away when I was on antibiotics for two years…which completely messed up my digestive system. And of course, my acne came back worse than ever. I’ve tried cleanses with a little improvement but not full. Anyway, I just wanted to 1) thank you for being honest about it! I get in this mindset that I can’t be a blogger because I have bad skin. It is one of the largest factors stopping me from bringing notebooks full of ideas to life.
2) I can’t remember if you’ve mentioned it before, but have you ever tried directly applying lavender oil to your face? I know it doesn’t work for everyone, but after antibiotics nothing has worked as well on my skin in all these years. I’ve tried unnatural and natural (honey, apple cider vinegar, tea tree oil, coconut oil, etc). You can dilute with jojoba oil if you need to. It hasn’t completely cleared my skin, but that and doubling b-vitamin and probiotic intake has given me a great improvement. Wishing you the best!
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Colleen Reply:
May 7th, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Thanks Allison! I agree- it’s never talked about. Don’t let it stop you! :) I haven’t tried lavender oil but I use jojoba…now I think I’ll try combining the two so thanks!!
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May 6, 2012 at 5:31 pm
You are so beautiful inside and out that I’ve never noticed that your skin is anything less than peaches and cream! I love what you wrote. It’s so honest and real.
I can definitely relate to #4, #7, #8, and #9! (But, while I’m not “shy”, I do enjoy and crave my solitude and I can definitely get stuck in my head and forget to have fun.)
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Colleen Reply:
May 7th, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Aw, thanks Sarah. :) xoxo
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May 7, 2012 at 9:03 am
Colleen, You are so sweet and genuine. That was one of the first things that struck me about you when we met! I love your vision and direction and think that sometimes it takes an ‘off’ moment to position yourself just right for when you turn ‘on’ full force. Transitional times and trying times, but teaching times also. I’m having flashbacks to a particularly rough period in my life when I was a new grad with a chemistry degree who worked at a greek restaurant as the only non-greek. I struggled with my purpose in life and worried that I wouldn’t find it. Thinking back on those times reminds me constantly to be thankful for all of life’s blessings. Who knows… Tomorrow I could be without a job and back at that greek restaurant!
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Colleen Reply:
May 7th, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Thanks for the encouragement Erin!!! :) You are the best.
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May 7, 2012 at 4:03 pm
I’ve been loving stumbling across all these “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” posts across the blogosphere. A *lot* of my own “things” are on your list, too. I’m a “I-need-to-do-it-all” kind of girl… but it’s not enough to do it all, I have to EXCEL at it all! I also love your point about feeling best when you’re extroverted, but being a natural introvert. That describes me all the way!
Thanks for being a brave soul and putting this all out there. A great series!
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May 7, 2012 at 11:04 pm
First, I just found your blog. And I love it. Second, I could have written 1, 2, 4, 5, 8 AND 9. Completely, 100% relate.
I did one of these posts as well, and found it really liberating, despite how nervous I was to publish it.
Looking forward to reading your blog more often :).
melissa
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Melissa @ Bubby & Bean Reply:
May 7th, 2012 at 11:12 pm
Okay, so clearly I am insane, because I just looked at your ‘about’ page and remembered you! Somehow I must have missed adding you to google reader because I remember when I first saw your blog months ago and loved it then as well. Making SURE I am properly subscribed from this point on :)
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Colleen Reply:
May 8th, 2012 at 10:49 am
Melissa- yay! so glad to have you reading :) thanks for your kind words! xo
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May 9, 2012 at 7:37 pm
I am also a night owl… It elicits a sort of pity from “morning people” sometimes, like oh poor Dash, she just can’t get herself together… I tell them, I’m self-employed for a reason!
No need to to feel bad that your body and brain aren’t fitting into the {extremely arbitrary} schedule imposed upon most people by society.
Also – I have always had bad skin. Until i found a magic secret – Honey! I just wash my face with honey and moisturize with EVOO. Here’s the link to where I mentioned it on my blog:
http://dashspersonalstyling.blogspot.com/2012/05/makeupfreemonday-syrup-and-honey.html
You rock. :)
xoxo,
dash
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May 9, 2012 at 7:40 pm
Lovely, I am also a night owl… It elicits a sort of pity from “morning people” sometimes, like oh poor Dash, she just can’t get herself together… I tell them, “I’m self-employed for a reason!” haha. ;) No need to to feel bad that your body and brain aren’t fitting into the {extremely arbitrary} schedule imposed upon most people by society.
Also – I have always had bad skin. Until i found a magic secret – Honey! I just wash my face with honey and moisturize with EVOO. I’ve mentioned it on my blog if you want to check it out.
You rock. :)
xoxo,
dash
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Colleen Reply:
May 11th, 2012 at 12:45 pm
Dash, I actually use manuka honey to wash my face! you are too sweet, thanks for sharing :) xo.
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May 17, 2012 at 1:21 am
Regarding #2: I, too, had this problem for a looooong time. I stopped being late when I stopped trying to be ”on time’ and started trying to be early. Trust me, if your goal is to be early to everything, you will be on time.
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May 17, 2012 at 9:45 am
I’ve loved reading these “truths” from all of you bloggers. I definately feel ya on #1, #7, and #8! Thank you for sharing. :) It’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels these things!
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June 3, 2012 at 5:51 pm
I just stumbled across this post this afternoon and I was very eager to read it. I love the truth and honesty in the post. I do a blog as well and it’s always about “Keeping It Real”…it’s hard to go deep and really admit things, believe me I know!
It’s good to see more bloggers doing this though and helps keep the rest of us sane, cause let me tell you, I think we all struggle with things such as you mentioned in #1. We’ve all got our little quirks and we try to hold ourselves to such high expectations, I am just glad I am not the only one!
In regards to #6…try Nano-cyclic {Pink}. It is the little secret I stumbled upon a few years back and it does wonders to my skin, I couldn’t be without it now. Also, I like to wash my face in Epsom Salt and warm water, it’s perfect. Perhaps the Nano-cyclic will work for you.
Thanks for keeping it real xoxo
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Colleen Reply:
June 5th, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Tina- thank you so much for your comment! I’m so glad you can relate. :) I’m going to check out nano-cyclic, thanks! xoxo
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Tina Guenthner Reply:
June 5th, 2012 at 5:39 pm
No problem, I hope it helps, too many women don’t know about the product. Best place to order from here:
http://www.jembeauty.com/advanced_search_result.php?search_in_description=1&keywords=cyclic+pink
Enjoy!
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July 3, 2012 at 10:47 am
Hi :) I’m new to your blog, just discovered it via Shadylane. I just have to say, I love this post.I love it when bloggers share really honest pieces about their life experiences and I can relate to a lot of what you’ve written. I’m an introvert too. Have a nice day! ♥
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Colleen Reply:
July 4th, 2012 at 11:05 am
Thank you Beth! Glad to have you reading! xoxo
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