I’ve been thinking a lot about growth and the feeling of in between lately. Have you ever felt “in between” who you are and who you want to be? Strangely, I’ve felt in this place for many months. It’s weird living in a space of fear and unknown, and in many ways I’ve been paralyzed as a result. I’m finally starting to get it through my head that change and growth within doesn’t just happen, it’s filled with purpose and intention. The capacity for change and transformation takes courage. I’ve realized how this tension of in between can wreak havoc in both the mind and body. It’s a constant, draining anxiety that I haven’t wanted to fully acknowledge.
Have you ever had this realization? That if you really wanted to make a change in your life it was time to take that scary, purposeful step? For me, a lot of it has to do with the redesign of my new site. That project I talked about months ago? Yeah, it’s completely ridiculous that it’s not finished (but it will be). In all honesty I’ve been afraid to take the next step. More on that another day.
I’m not yet sure of who I want to be…but are we ever? I think there will always be evolving, but my hope is that it is out of boldness and not fear. I want to be less afraid and more confident to show the world who I am, both personally and professionally. I’m sure there will always be some of this tension in life. Perhaps it requires both the audacity to change as well as the realization that allowing ourselves grace is equally important. Sometimes change just takes time. Any step, however small, is progress.
I’d love to hear, have you ever felt this sense of “in between” before? Do you think growth and change in adulthood is intentional? As we grow and evolve, does it happen naturally or is it more of a conscious decision?